I have a book idea. The book title (which I know you should never start with the book title but screw you I'm doing it anyway) would be called An Intellectual History of Farts. When I think about book ideas the first thing I do is think about things that I personally would want to read, not necessarily if I have any stories to tell (which it so happens, I don't, so it all works out). So today I farted, and beautiful inspiration came forth. Farts are weird right? Not socially acceptable, taboo, hilarious, and sometimes a relationship deal breaker. It is beyond my comprehension that there are some couples who have been together for years and years who have never F worded in front of each other. I personally find this ridiculous and a form of torture closely related to water-boarding. E-V-E-R-Y-B-O-D-Y F-A-R-T-S. And this marks the point where my interest was peaked by my own inner brain workings. CEO's of major companies fart, Angelina Jolie farts, your mom farts, my dog farts, Obama Nation is a nation of farters. And you know there have got to be some crazy ass stories that go along with these human releases of pressure. I want to know! The people need to know. So here's the outline:
1. A Bitchin Title
An Intellectual History of Farts (double check)
2. The First Few Chapters
-Talkin about the science of farts or whatever (don't worry it gets better)
3. The Next Few Chapters
-Famous Farts (I told you)
*celebrity farts, political farts (from Senates to National Treaty Signings and beyond) and in general anyone who warrants our interest who has a documented flatulence to behold.
4. Chapter 7
-Farting as a social taboo (are we more comfortable with farts now than say the 50's? What we learn from Sex and the City about farting, and what our go abouting when it comes to farting says about us)
5. The Last Few Chapters
-I haven't quite thought that far ahead. Get back to me.
Just a side note, I have no intention whatsoever of writing this book but I would really like it if someone else would, and then send me the intellectual license checks. Kthxbye.