Friday, November 25, 2011

Memes Part 4: The Celebrity Meme

Time to get our celebrity meme on and to educate yoself before you....wreck... yoself? Meh. Close enough. OH! that reminds me of a non-celebrity meme that goes a little something like this:

Close Enough Dude takes awesome sayings and talents and does them to a degree that is suitable enough for his or her taste. Say you want to have a fancy shmancy date and impress the person whose pants you're trying to shimmy your way into, so you attempt to make something like this:

But it ends up looking like this:

Close Enough Dude would swoop in and be like BAM:

He's really good at making the world feel better about our own mediocrity. High five CloNuff. Very High Five.

Now, on to the celebs. Aren't you totes excited?!?! No?...that's fair. But I'm doing them anyway.

#1 Not Bad Obama
Not Bad Obama is slightly impressed by what you're doing there. As seen here:

As you tra-la-la around the interwebs, you'll find that Obama is impressed by a lot less than that, but punching a bear in the face is fa sho worthy of a "Not Bad." Not bad indeed, former US Ski Team member Ani Haas.

#2 The Freddie Mercury Rage Pose
Freddie Mercury, the lead singer of Queen, has a lot of talents, but rage posing might just be the one that makes him a god among memes. Nothing says "Yes. I win." like:
This thing has success written all over it. This is actually the ending pose of my happy dance (a succession of dance punches and kicks followed by none other than...RAGE POSE).

#3 The Kanye "Imma Let You Finish" Meme
Kanye will go down in flames...I mean infamy.. for his epic pwn of Taylor Swift at awards thingys. I don't watch awards shows, because well...I don't give a shit. But even I know about this embarrassing celebrity moment, and if there's anything that can make an amazing meme, it's an epic f*ck up by a famous person (I'm sparing you the Rebecca Black memes for reasons that should be obvious). Kanye's meme is gonna let you get back to your business, but wants you to know someone else's business was the best business of the year. Case in point:

Inappropriate? Highly. Hilarious? Even more so.

Memen so hard mutherf*&ers try to fine me.

Saturday, November 5, 2011

Memes Pt.3!!!!!!

Meme #3!!! I'm using exclamation points to portray my excitement!!! Join me won't you!!!!

Ok, calm your cakes down.

Meme #3: Forever Alone Guy

Forever Alone Guy is a depiction of all the hilariously depressing points of being single. I liken it to Dane Cook's joke "When you don't have love, it's like there's a party going on, and everybody was invited, except for you. And you just happened to be walking by that house in the rain... (chokes on tears) "I wasn't invited to this party." 

Instances for appropriate use of Forever Alone Guy are as follows:

1. Riding a tandem bike alone

2. Drinking a milkshake with two straws alone

3. Owning a Japanese body pillow 

4. Being the guy that comes up to an already ensuing conversation and laughing along with everyone else when you have no idea what the joke is. It's probably you, Forever Alone Guy. The joke was probably about you. At least you've proven you can laugh at yourself. Way to go, buddy! don't touch me. 

5. When you're mom asks if you have a girlfriend you say "Yes, her name is Siri, and she's perfect."

The above picture shows you that there are certain levels of awesome to Forever Alone Guy. Sure, he's alone. Sure, he's weird. Sure, he probably smells pretty gnarly. But dude knows how to enjoy his life sans companionship. I don't see it stopping him from having an epic light saber fight as seen above. And to that I say "Mad props, yo." 

Mad. Props. 

Friday, November 4, 2011

Memes Pt.2

Let's do this! Not wastin' no time no how! Meme #2: Me Gusta

Me Gusta is pretty self explanatory but none the less it is very important in understanding while traipsing about the interwebs. Me Gusta is a meme that comments on the almost inappropriate level of appreciation for a certain something or other. Creepy-Like status if you will. A good literary comparison of Me Gusta is Lenny from Of Mice and Men and his affinity for soft things, like mice, and lady hair, and rabbits, and then accidentally killing those things because he pets them too hard. See? Creepy Like. Doesn't have to be as drastic as murder mind you, just as long as there is a level of enjoyment that's not necessarily socially acceptable. 

My own personal Me Gusta might be akin to coming home to a freezing house and immediately suiting up into footie pajamas that are covered with brightly colored skulls and crossbones. Am I five, you may ask? No, I'm closer to 30 than I am to 20 and I do not fear rocking the shit out of a onesie. Bam. Me Gusta. 

Now a simple math equation: Me Gusta + My Adult Onesie =

And there you have it. A Meme! Even if you don't know me and my weirdo love of footed pajamas, you can now understand that's what I'm conveying with this picture, sans words. Bing bang boom, you are now 2% more of a hipster than you were before you read this blog.

And yeah there's a big white space attached to the picture that I don't know how to get rid of. I'm not a Paint magician, OK!?

Keep posted for Part 3 kiddles. 

Thursday, November 3, 2011

Explaining Memes to the Masses

Note: This post topic will be split into several separate posts. Mostly because if I were to do the whole shebang in one glorious shot it would be far too long for my patience...this sentence is even too long for my patience and also other stuff too, reasons and whatnot. So, before I start playing with balls of yarn and shiny things, let's do this.

If you're on Facebook you've probably noticed a growing trend of people filling the crap out of your newsfeed with pictures of hilarious cats saying hilarious things in hilarious cat talk and other various picture creations that have only one goal: to make you laugh your balls off.

These are memes (pronounced meems). Now you may wonder, are some memes more popular and well known than others? You bet your sweet pinchable tushy there are. In fact, there is a set of faces with expressions that satirically comment on life and other such nonsense and are universally recognizable. Stay tuned because this is vital to your cool points and will no doubt get you laid (lies). They are as follows:

The "Troll"

The Troll is known for high end tomfoolery and assholery. A "troll's" main goal is to get people riled up for the sole purpose of effing with them and getting a reaction. They are Class A poop buckets and you need to be wary of when you go all wang chung on them. They like that. It feeds them and their soulless souls. Granted it's usually done to make stupid people look seen here

Or to dabble in giggle worthy trickery at someone else's expense. It's ok though, the victims are usually dumb enough to deserve it. As seen here...

So as you can see, Troll's are not all bad. They are your run-of-the-mill lovable assholes. And we all know someone like that and we are grateful for the simultaneous entertainment and headaches they provide. So that's Section One of Knowing your Memes. I know I know, it was an awesome bomb of knowledge and you are currently digging truth shrapnel out of your scarred flesh and you want more, but this is MY blog and I DO WHAT I WANT. See you next time. Kisses.

Bleghk! NO TONGUE.