Never leave your sentimental pictures in hiding spots you least expect to find them. Believe me, it will turn your shit upside down. Considering the picture in question, of my grandma and grandpa walking to their car from a trip to Morro Beach (even my use of the S word would offend my grandma so that I feel the need to redact it), is enough to spiral me into emotional oblivion.
I don't know if you've ever lost someone close to you, and I pray to God you don't, but if you have, I feel for you. My grandmother was the pinnacle of my existence for a very long time. And I'm sorry to get so dark and deep on you, but life consists of just as much laughs and tomfooleries as it does absolute anguish. Since inside-wise this blog is getting a little too painful to handle I'm gonna lighten things up by remembering the things I cherished most about June (G to the Ma) that I can't help but giggle at when I think about:
1. Romance Novels
-Girl loved her some Fabio. At age 7-12 a favorite past time of cousins and co. was confiscating said novels and giggling at the consistent use of "nipple." Seriously romance novel writers, there ARE other areas of the female body.
2. The Wig
-Even in the case of complete lack of hair loss, I guess the fear of losing locks was enough to purchase the hilarious Moe (of Curly and Larry fame) style do to which I would perform Annie songs in.
3. Movies that I'm Ashamed to Love but I Do
-Easter Parade, While You Were Sleeping, and Under the Tuscan Sun are movies it would now it my present state of being never even occur to me to Netflix stream (Netflix stream has about ten movies that would actually interest me, and you probably) in the most dire of predicaments, but thanks to my grandma, I've seen an accumulative of 140 times while weeping, laughing, and indulging each and every time.
4. The Lackluster Wrapping of Gifts
-No one could wrap a present like June Barger. Meaning, Wal Mart and Safeway could and do. Christmases filled with opening gifts with tags still on encased in plastic bags mean more to me than any fancy shmancy, hours of effort wrappings, will ever manage.
5. She was a Nurse
-Free Jell-O yo.
6. The Most Loving Family You Could Ever Request Via Jesus
-The fact that I hang out with my Aunt and Uncle every other week and love my mom more than you love loving things, is a testament to how cool my grandma was. This wasn't your run-of-the-mill church on Sunday family. This was your get-your-ass-in-the-car-so-we-can-drive-through-dangerous-fog-and-get-into-multiple-car-accidents-on-the-way-to-church-family. Our shit was dedicated. And she was the glue. If she told me to kill you, you would not be reading this. KITANA'ED. I honestly don't know how she did it, but the wake of her absence is felt beyond what even I comprehend.
-I never knew what a "hutch" was until my grandma had three filled with exotic glass birds and Ming vases (One of which I broke, I was seven years old, so sue me) maybe twelve years old but you get the picture. I remember a very antique looking key that marked the entrance to my Dungeons and Dragons/Imaginationing dabbling, because if that couldn't open the door to a labyrinth, what could?
-Under the heading of Knick-knackery I'd like to include Nursery's. Not the baby kind, but of the Japanese plant persuasion. My childhood is brim full of them, where I would not find a love of botany, but a love of hide and seek Shrubbery 3.0 version. (June was surprisingly not a fan of this endeavor)
and last but very much not least...selflessness. I see it in my mother everyday. When I break everything I can possibly break, even as an adult (glasses, cars, phones, relationships. etc) she extends life and limb to solve my qualms. And I know this is in direct thanks to my grandmother. Sometimes I feel like, who would the world be/have been without her? Would it have just all stopped had she not come into the picture? Well, for me that's a definite yes, but for you...I hope you at least just wonder at the various other lives that have affected yours without your knowledge. Someone did something awhile ago and you are who you are because of it. So stay in skool, preach to the choir, be kind rewind, and any other inspirational ism that touches you. For your very own June Patsy Barger. Because, if not for them....then who?